Remembering now it makes me wonder how these intricately strong marble beads of our memories have started to break in parts. some beads independently fall and take their own unknown course in the vast floor of our lives. It seems awkward the fact that those 2 colourful strings have started to untangle so quickly... it seems inapt to actually digest the fact of this rapid untangling compared to many years of happily and enthusiastically putting them together. It hurts still this fact but from a different prism. It seems more distant more cold now.
I dont want this to happen and i shout it out to you ; u cant hear me anymore nor see me. I feel that i dont want to forget so quickly , i dont know why, i force myself subconsciously to feel the pain , the loss, the chaos behind me. I dont know how long it will take and most importantly im not sure how long I actually want it to take. You have left the scene, only ur smell; reminding me the past. And Im still standing watching the beads dancing crazily in the floor, fireworks in my brain and the ravaging tap tap tap making my ears bleed and my heart stop. Sometimes i feel i cant breath , my heart seems to disobey my orders. Its like it wants to suffocate itself... I cant leave... I dont want to put the strings back together but i cant leave this time, I dont know why.......
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