-was it the guilt?
-maybe after a while
-was it denial?
-most of the time.
-was it you?
- i guess both at the end.
-was it necessary?
-yes it was
Trying to make sense out of it. Tape's still playing but can't hear it anymore. Difficult to let go? not really just difficult to give it meaning again, purpose, feeling. Yes they say you should remember your past, learn from it, but how do you deal with the recurring memories? The places, the streets, the smell; different but at the same time all a stimulating past every time youre there...
Denial and repression; cannot work anymore if you want to have a 'move on', regret , guilt and shame; tiresome feelings that make it even worse; trust; hard to nurture it still; spontaneity, all gone due to everything above;
-what's left then?
-adjustment; again and again and until you manage to achieve it somehow. You know the worst part in all this is the spontaneity and contentment that's lost; the pleasure that used to be there lurking in every little corner at least for a short period...
-do you miss it?
-the feeling yes , that time no.
- Well, the problem is to decide that you deserve to give yourself the choice to feel 'happiness' again.
-It will take still a while...
-(sigh) are you trying though?
-(pause) not yet.
-still scared?
-not anymore. just tired and let down i guess.Need to change the tape. It's broken.Can't be fixed, on playback still.
-time to change the tune.
-i like it though!
-time to change the tune
-it's a brilliant one, full of nostalgia, passion and longing; had good reviews before though a bit out of date nowadays. can be enjoyed any time of the day.
Not to say, a good lullaby to get you to bed when needed.
-time to change the tune
-I know
-was it me was it you was it him?
-Guess it was all of us.
-but why then it still hurts only me?
-because you wanted it to. you don't need to explain anymore, just ...change the tune
-i will
-will you..?
-yes i promise ; have to, after all now it's getting late; maybe too late . can't distinguish even your shadow, it's all a confusing blend
-still got time
-not the one i wanted, the one i thought i needed; surprise!
-you still got time
-i know; just need to keep reminding me. still got time?
-beliefs and morals; reconsidered, self-deception and reassurance; does not apply here, remorse and guilt; cannot hang on to them for life. what's left? me, you
- and me. yes me. time to get up, tape is rolling, no sound, tinnitus gone.
it's the kind of a good morning i guess
-goodmorning
-maybe after a while
-was it denial?
-most of the time.
-was it you?
- i guess both at the end.
-was it necessary?
-yes it was
Trying to make sense out of it. Tape's still playing but can't hear it anymore. Difficult to let go? not really just difficult to give it meaning again, purpose, feeling. Yes they say you should remember your past, learn from it, but how do you deal with the recurring memories? The places, the streets, the smell; different but at the same time all a stimulating past every time youre there...
Denial and repression; cannot work anymore if you want to have a 'move on', regret , guilt and shame; tiresome feelings that make it even worse; trust; hard to nurture it still; spontaneity, all gone due to everything above;
-what's left then?
-adjustment; again and again and until you manage to achieve it somehow. You know the worst part in all this is the spontaneity and contentment that's lost; the pleasure that used to be there lurking in every little corner at least for a short period...
-do you miss it?
-the feeling yes , that time no.
- Well, the problem is to decide that you deserve to give yourself the choice to feel 'happiness' again.
-It will take still a while...
-(sigh) are you trying though?
-(pause) not yet.
-still scared?
-not anymore. just tired and let down i guess.Need to change the tape. It's broken.Can't be fixed, on playback still.
-time to change the tune.
-i like it though!
-time to change the tune
-it's a brilliant one, full of nostalgia, passion and longing; had good reviews before though a bit out of date nowadays. can be enjoyed any time of the day.
Not to say, a good lullaby to get you to bed when needed.
-time to change the tune
-I know
-was it me was it you was it him?
-Guess it was all of us.
-but why then it still hurts only me?
-because you wanted it to. you don't need to explain anymore, just ...change the tune
-i will
-will you..?
-yes i promise ; have to, after all now it's getting late; maybe too late . can't distinguish even your shadow, it's all a confusing blend
-still got time
-not the one i wanted, the one i thought i needed; surprise!
-you still got time
-i know; just need to keep reminding me. still got time?
-beliefs and morals; reconsidered, self-deception and reassurance; does not apply here, remorse and guilt; cannot hang on to them for life. what's left? me, you
- and me. yes me. time to get up, tape is rolling, no sound, tinnitus gone.
it's the kind of a good morning i guess
-goodmorning
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